Something Other than Nothing
by SummonerLulu
Summary: We've played this game before. He will pretend to be Him, and I will pretend to be Her. We both know it is fake, a twisted lie that we shouldn't share. But this lie, it helps us both with the grief we feel for the ones we have lost. AU. Tidus/Lulu
1. Our Lie

**~_Something_ Other than _Nothing_~**

**Author's Note:** Thisis just a story I wrote one night when I couldn't sleep. I don't know where the idea came from, but it just tore at the back of my mind until I just had to write it. Don't know if it is any good but let me know what you think.

The sound of our panting breaths fills the air as we recover from the first part of our game. His body is still half on top of mine, his forehead resting on my shoulder as he breaths in the soft flowery sent of the perfume I use. Those calloused hands play along my shoulder before tangling in my shoulder-length tresses and toying with the blue and green beads sewn into a lock of hair. My hands are a mimicry of his, playing with the thong keeping his hair tied back and releasing its hold. The strands fall and tickle my exposed and damp skin. His scent is musky, with a touch of sake and flows over me like his hair.

There is a certain sort of tranquility, an inner peace, that always takes over for a fleeting moment at this point. A moment where everything feels like it didn't fall apart. A moment where Yevon's betrayal, the death of our friends and the war that followed just never happened. It is a sort of blissful forgetfulness that makes me not want to speak, but I know I must. He will not move if I don't. He does very little with me, or to me, without my permission. There is a tentativeness to him that I never would have expected six years ago.

"Tidus…" That name sounds so foreign to me now, even as I speak it. I think it sounds strange to him, too. The way he hesitates to move makes it seem so, but move he does. He knows this is only halftime, we are not finished yet.

With a low grunt he shifts us so that he lies beneath me. I gaze at his face and run a hand down his scarred cheek. A wistful smile tugs at my lips as he pulls on his game face. It is my turn to have who I want…

We've played this game before. He will pretend to be _Him_, and I will pretend to be _Her_. We both know it is fake, a twisted lie that we shouldn't share. But this lie, it helps us both with the grief we feel for the ones we have lost. It helps us get through the nights we really wish we didn't have to endure without _Them_. The nights that _They_ gave us, the peace _They_ died for, we now spend steeped in a lie we have created for ourselves.

The years have changed us physically and mentally, but our grief has never changed. Whoever said 'time heals all wounds' was never cut this deeply. The only thing that ever seems to dull the pain is Our Lie. The one we keep secret even from those who once fought at our side. Sure they know we live together, know we are more than just friends, but they don't know the horrible truth behind it all. They don't know that-- behind the stone walls of the abandoned Djose Temple we call our home -- we mimic the lives of each others dead lovers.

It is better that way, I think. Better that Wakka continues on in his happiness with Shelinda and their children back in Besaid, without knowing of the sick game we play. Much better that Kimahri is left to maintaining the tentative peace between the Guado and Ronso without the extra burden of our problems. Even better that Rikku gets to live happily in the rebuilt Home without being tainted by the darkness in our hearts.

Whenever they -- or anyone else -- shows up at our door we act accordingly. We slip back into normal behavior without a single flaw. We allow Our Lie to fade and live in the real world for as long as needed. It hurts, more than anything, but we will not let our sickness infect those we love. The two of us just act like the picture perfect couple everyone thinks we are, as odd as the picture of us together is. We are such opposites, or at least were, that us being in a relationship seems a little crazy. We've laughed at it ourselves a couple times, that sort of humorless laughter that just sounds sad instead of anywhere near happy.

But, despite how ludicrous the idea of use being a happy couple is, they all believe it. Everyone thinks we bonded in the loss of our lovers, that we had helped each other through the grieving process. They all think we have recovered from _Their_ decisions, believe we were strong enough to move on. Oh, how wrong they are. The two of us, we lost more than our lovers that night on the rolling plains of the Calm Lands. We lost a part of ourselves that we just couldn't really live without.

An emptiness settled inside of me as the pyerflies floated towards the fading starts that night. I felt nothing at the death of two of the people I loved the most. And what made it worse was that I didn't even feel bad about it. I had finally come to accept death without feeling the heartache it brought. Though, as the sun rose behind the mountains in bloody reds and fiery oranges, I cried. Hard.

I had to try and fill myself with anything but that hallow and frightening nothingness. I had to force myself to feel _something _other than _nothing_. I called upon every emotion I knew and only one answered my call--Sadness. It was the only thing that, what was left of my heart, would allow in to fill up that emptiness within. It took up all the space inside of me that had been hallowed out by having _Him _torn from me and from losing my friend and my faith.

Even as all of Spira rejoiced in the Calm, I despaired in it.

I thought I was alone in being as lost as I was, but he showed me otherwise. He appeared out of nowhere the moment my tears turned to sobs, like he had been watching me and waiting for it the whole time. I really hadn't expected his own pain to distract him from the danger around us, but I was still stunned to see him standing before me. I shouldn't have been all that surprised-- he is one of the best guardians in history.

Tears stained his face as well, though he seemed to resist the urge to shake under them as I did. His resolve lasted only as long as it took for me to burry my face into his chest. He bawled with me and even though it should have been awkward, it wasn't.

We were partners in our despair.

That morning was when we began to change into the creatures we are now. It started small; sharing memories of the time spent with _Them_; holding each other as we fell asleep; kisses to calm when frantic rage took over. Those small and simple things began to evolve as things worsened in Spira. A war broke out between the newly formed Youth League and what was left of Yevon, a smaller one took place between the Guado and Ronso. After six months of relative peace we were needed again and we did what we could to stop the fighting. Two years would pass before that happened and during that time the two of us slipped deeper into the depression we perpetuated.

The peace _They_ had died for was being wasted with war and it made us angry. We didn't think it was fair that their deaths meant so little to the people of Spira. Why did they have to die just so these people could fight amongst themselves? We hated it and --when the wars were over-- we closed ourselves up in Djose Temple with the Fayth.

I don't remember who's idea it was to start our game, or even if it began as a conscious decision on either of our parts. In any case, it slowly started to take over our lives until our real identities were lost in the ebb and flow of Our Lie. We faded from the real world, locked away in our fantasies and dreams. It is there that we remain, even now, when things in Spira are final---

"Lulu."

_Huh? _Oh, right! The game.

He looks worried, like he thinks I might be losing it. Those eyes sparkle with that long-lost innocence for an instant before I begin to move. A ragged breath escapes him and the time out is lifted. It is my turn to have who I want, there is no time for the reality of who we are. I don't want to have to see Tidus' face as I pretend it is Auron who is here with me, just as he doesn't want to see mine when he is pretending I am Yuna.

So, we go on, playing our dangerous game until we tire of it. When we collapse out of sheer exhaustion Tidus' blue eyes are on _me_, not Yuna. I avoid them and focus on the scar that trails from his cheek bone down to his chin, the one Seymour left him with. I am not ready to let go of the illusion yet.

"What were you thinking about before, Lu?" He is being himself now, not Auron. The tone he is using, the way he is looking at me, it is all Tidus.

I can't answer him, it would just seem stupid anyways. I just shake my head and burrow into him like I have for so long. There are just certain things I can't explain to him. I can't tell him that Our Lie is no longer working for me, or why. He would shrink away from me and I don't think I could handle that, not another loss. So, I will keep my silence and my secret: I'm in love him. Not him as Auron, but him. I've felt it coming for a while, but don't really want it. I don't want to leave Auron behind, I don't think I know how.

"It's alright." His words are slightly muffled by my hair as he buries his face in it. Tidus' hands move to the beads-- the ones that are just like Yuna's old ones --and he begins to slowly remove them. Once they are all out he rolls away from me and sets them on the nightstand.

I keep my eyes closed and, for a moment, don't think he is going to lay back down. When I look up at him he is returning to my side, his old necklace around his neck for the first time in years. I can't help but stare at it.

Before I notice, he is putting my old earrings in my ears. I only realize what he has done when he pulls me to him and begins stroking my hair. I am stunned again. He never does anything to me without my permission. Something has changed in the rules of our game.

"You should grow your hair back."

Ah, the rules haven't changed, he is just forfeiting.

"Time for a change, you know. Maybe we should head to Luca, the tournament begins in a few days. I really want to win one more game before we start the pilgrimage."

Forfeiting, and starting the old game back up. So we will play the game of reality. It sounds like a welcome change. Maybe I will feel something again. _Something _other than _Nothing._

Sin will return soon and we will have to begin the pilgrimage anew. Did I mention I'm a summoner now? We've come up with a new plan, one that will defeat Sin for good this time. The others are going to help us and maybe, just maybe, Spira will be free. Maybe Tidus and I will be free, too.


	2. Stand in the Rain

**Author's Note:**Sorry this took so long, but life has been a little crazy lately. A big thanks to dark drow for the kick in the but that got me going again. Well, here is the next chapter. I'm not too sure I like the ending all that much, but I'll see what you guys think. Oh, and reviews give me motivation to write so the more I get the more I will write.

_*****_

"_So stand in the rain, stand your ground. Stand up when it's all crashing down. You stand through the pain. You won't drown and one day, what's lost can be found."_

_~Stand in the Rain~_

_By Superchick _

_*****_

The waves lap harshly at this shore, crashing against the rust-red sand. Moisture always hangs in the air here, but today it is oppressive and almost tangible. The perpetually grey sky rumbles with more fervor than is the norm for this shadowy coast. The shade of the clouds tells much of the deluge that is sure to come at any moment. A storm is certain and, even though I know it is probably best to begin my trek back to the temple, I can't seem to bring myself to move. I feel as rooted to this coarse and grainy shore as a mountain is rooted to the earth.

My bones ache for the rain, for the cold winds that will make the ocean's currents all the more violent. I would sit here, watching and basking in the chaos of it all until the black waters swallowed me whole. The notion in itself seems somehow peaceful to me in all its twisted selfishness. Losing myself in the waves I have memorized and come to love is a thought all too appealing to my discontented mind. It would be the only kind of self-induced release I would consider allowing, but I won't ever embrace it. There is still too much left for me to do, people I still intend to protect, and wrongs I still intend to right. Too much still to live for, despite what the pain in my chest would have me believe.

I am too willful to end my life, that I know. I have considered it on several occasions in the past - as fleeting a consideration as I give such ideas - but have never thought on it too seriously. Death comes too quickly to those in Spira- even more quickly to those who choose the path I now walk- so I will not throw away what many have held onto so fleetingly. I will not waste the gift Yuna and Auron both died to give me.

With a heavy sigh, I pick myself up off the ground and brush the sand off my dress. Tidus will worry if I don't return soon, he most likely already is. I should not have left him without saying something, or at least writing a note. It is something that only occurs to me as I tear my attention from the rolling water and begin my walk back to Djose temple.

Last night Tidus called an end to our four-year-long game; being absent now might make him think I've abandoned him. I know that being truly alone scares him more than anything, even if he has never admitted it.

There are some things he will just never admit to me. I am no different.

_Crash!_

A harsh white flash streaks across the ominous sky, and for an instant all shadows recede as the lightning lends it strength to the smothered morning light. The rain comes down in cascades, soaking me through within seconds. I pause in my stride, turning my face up to greet the storm. In times past a satisfied smile might have graced my lips, but now I can only manage a relieved sigh. I have found that rain can wash away so much more than any bath. Worry, stress and fear all seem to melt away with each rivulet of rain water that slides over my face, over my shoulders. It is a small comfort and steadies the nerves I did not know had been shaken.

Another thunderous crack of lightning and I am moving again.

The Djose Highroad is usually littered with fiends, but today is a rare exception. The storm seems to have scared even the great basilisks into hiding. I must hurry, because if the serpents don't want to weather this tempest then I will have no chance against it.

As if to reinforce my inner musings, a strong gust of wind nearly blows me off balance. My short, wet hair whips about my face and stings my skin. The flimsy, knee-length dress I threw on before leaving earlier this morning only now seems like a bad idea. Cold wind cuts through the fine weave of black and violet silk like it is nothing. Thin fabric is all well and good for the summers here, but not monsoon season. I had not been thinking adequately upon waking.

Despite my discomfort, I make my way through the storm with hardly a shiver. I am accustom to the cold and these gusts do not weaken my stride. By the time I pass the fork in the road, the rain is falling so hard that each droplet that hits my skin feels like a pin prick. At this rate I will most assuredly be ill tomorrow.

I can just hear the reprimand Auron would give me were he here. It is a speech I've heard before, back during the pilgrimage. The memory nearly makes me laugh, but it gets caught in the back of my throat. Never again will I here the mimicry of those words passing Tidus' lips. Our Lie is at its end. For me it is bittersweet: I am reluctant to let go of Auron, but I am looking forward to having the real Tidus back.

As much as I am loath to admit it; I miss that smile that used to infect our whole party. I miss his laughter that was always capable of cheering Yuna up and, even though I never admitted it to anyone, it even cheered me up too. His optimism helped us all through the pilgrimage and that aspect of him is what I miss most of all. Tidus was the brightest star in our group; he made us all think we could change Spira for the better.

That all died the day Yuna and Auron did.

Maybe, just maybe, I can revive a little of that light now. Maybe this new turn in our relationship will help him heal from the damage that day caused him. Hell, maybe it will help me as well…

"Lady Lulu!"

That voice: Rin. I look up and spot the Al Behd man throwing a heavy canvas over the crates stacked outside the small shop that stands before the Temple. Despite the painful rain that stings his skin he is smiling brightly at me. This weather is probably nothing compared to the sandstorms he had to endure on Bikanel Island.

"Rin." I reply to him softly, dipping my head in a small bow.

I've come to know this man during my years here. The salesman and his assistant, Nahdala, are the only other people who share this place with us. They are both pleasant and have been kind enough to provide Tidus and I with anything we need, mostly without charge. We keep the area free of fiends and they keep us well stocked on weaponry and food. Rin and Nahdala have even been so helpful as to teach us Al Behd. They are like family now, a commodity that is difficult to come by nowadays.

"You look worse off than a drown thunder flan. Better hurry yourself on inside, Lady Summoner." Rin's swirled green eyes glimmer with humor as he tuts at me disapprovingly. "Your beloved guardian will be none too pleased to find you in this state." He says, and with one last tug he has the canvas securely in place. "Probably has his feathers all in a ruffle by now." The laughter that he tacks onto the end of that sentence makes it obvious that Tidus has already made his worry known to our friend.

Best to go calm his fears before he works himself into a frenzy, like he always does. "Yes, I think I should see to him." I say, more to myself than to Rin, and direct my gaze to the two stone doors. Distantly, I hear Nahdala calling to Rin and he excuses himself from my presence.

I quickly make my way to the temple entrance, setting my hand on the cold, carved rock. The doors give way with only the slightest of pressure, responding to the magic within me. Before I am two steps inside I am greeted with the sight of Tidus descending the steps from the Cloister of Trials. The look on his face would reduce the most war-worn soldier into a quivering mass. Such fierce looks were never worn by him before the Yevon Wars, but now they a common thing. I still don't think those expressions look right on him. They are too cruel for his kind features.

When he notices me, he gazes at me in silent shock before his expression turns to that of concern. His blue eyes trace my form and, as if on instinct, he descends the stairs and leads me by the hand to our room. Silence reigns between us as he leaves me at the center of the room and begins to bustle about. With his back to me - he is rummaging through a dresser drawer, probably seeking out some dry clothes for me - I can see his black sword; Apocalypse. It is newly sharpened, I can tell from the glossy shine that adorns its silver edge. Tidus must have been preparing to come after me.

As I watch him, I can easily see the tension coiled in his defined muscles and the anger that contorts his face. Now, I don't doubt my earlier suspicion about him thinking that I abandoned him. The fact that I can predict his reactions so precisely almost makes me want to laugh, _almost_. That is, until he turns to me and I am faced with the full force of the accusation in his eyes. It would be just like him to think that the only reason I came back was because of the storm.

'_Foolish boy.'_

_With that thought, I must laugh and laugh I do. Not a roaring laughter, just a small bubbling that is over in an instant. It is enough of a sound to cause Tidus to look at me as if I've lost my mind. Maybe he thinks my mind is clouded by fever? That, too, would be just like him._

_And, just as I've predicted he would, he closes the space between us and places his hand to my forehead. When he feels how cold my skin is he drops his hand and gently presses some dry clothes into my hand. Without so much as a word, he sweeps out of the room. Yes, he is certainly throwing another of his silent tantrums. _

_I sigh. I should have left a note._

_***** _

_Tidus, once so loud when angry, now sits at the base of Braska's statue in utter silence. An angry scowl twists his features as he stares at the grey stone floor. He holds one knee to his chest, the other leg extended before him. His back pressed forcefully to the pedestal of the High Summoner's statue, he looks as though he is fighting back that old urge to scream. I almost wish he was ranting the way he used to, because it would be so much better than this. His silence is worse than his shouting ever was. It never used to take anything to get him to express his displeasure, but now it takes forever to bring him to say one word when he is like this. These silent tantrums must stop. _

_Striding forward with purpose in my step, I come to rest before him. His attention does not direct itself at me and this irritates me for some reason. I feel the unwanted emotion tighten in my shoulders, agitating me further. I am not one to want for attention from anyone, but being blatantly ignored has never sat well with me. "You think me heartless?" The question that passes my lips is unbidden and harsh. This brings those blue depths to my red ones._

_Silence, punctuated only by the sound of thunder, passes between us for several moments. I can see something at work behind Tidus' sharp eyes; something that confuses him slightly. He knows not what to say, or exactly what I mean by the question I have posed. In time, though, he grasps my intent and shakes his head softly. "No," He says, punctuating his movement with words. "I just…" Again he is lost for words and I can see the frustration in him build until he hits the hard ground with his coiled fist. I know the action has hurt him, but he shows no sign of pain. Pain is something we are booth accustom to._

"_Thought I abandoned you." I finish his sentence for him, finally. A guilty look tugs at Tidus' features and I suddenly realize why he was brooding. It was not me who he was angry with; it was himself. _

"_Sorry." The apology is full of shame and Tidus drops his head under the weight of it. I hate to see him like this; hate to see him torture himself over nothing._

"_There is nothing to apologize for." I reassure him, despite the fact that I had been angry at him a minute before. _


	3. Echoes of the Past

I wake and feel the reassuring weight of Tidus half sprawled across me. His long hair tickling my skin and his unshaved chin scratching my bare shoulder. For the first time in a long while I have the urge to smile, because he is mumbling in his sleep. Its unintelligible, but the little sounds he is making tells how silly his dream must be.

I listen to him for a while, trying to pick out what he is saying through his groggy haze. It proves mostly a fruitless endeavor, but I do manage a small laugh at his ineloquent little speech. It's a good change of pace to know his dreams are peaceful, for once. There is usually a great need to wake him from his dreams, rather than letting him sleep on.

The Yevon Wars and our previous pilgrimage have left more scars than the ones he bares on his face and body. I am no stranger to those old wounds and am not without my own, but his rest is more often disturbed than my own. He was raised in a peaceful world, void of the terrors in Spira. I was born here; in this place where death rules all. His adjustment came slow and his heart railed against it, fighting his new reality with everything he had. In his mind, Tidus still fights that same war. But this morning he is happily on leave from that battle.

Suddenly, a loud squawking sound erupts through the temple we call our home. The peace is shattered. Instantly, Tidus jerks awake and pulls a dangerously curved dagger out from underneath a pillow. There is a wild look on his face; the look of a man fighting for his life. I'm touching his face and shoulders gently, whispering soft words to calm him before I even think about it.

It's sad how normal his reaction seems to me. The instinct to fight is so well ingrained in the two of us that this sort of occurrence is no rarity. One moment we can be calm and going about our day, then another we will be poised to strike. All it takes to ruin our tranquility is noise or action that brings back memories of battle.

"Shh…" I demand softly, though he hasn't said a word. Slowly, I move my hand down his shoulder, his arm and then to the fist clenched around the hilt of the dagger. I can feel him shaking; fighting whatever flashback he is trapped in. "It's only the CommScreen*." I tell him softly, coaxing the weapon from his grasp cautiously. When he surrenders the blade to me, I casually turn and place it on the nightstand behind me.

"I'm going to go answer it, okay." Tidus nods deftly in response, his eyes still not focused on me and his mind still trudging back to the here and now. I move unhurriedly from the bed, being mindful not to startle the already shaken guardian. Gingerly, I pluck my robe off the wooden bedpost and pull it over my meager sleeping gown.

My feet carry me steadily to the stone doors of our room and out into the temple's main chamber. Once Tidus is securely behind the closed doors I rush to answer a call I know I've already missed. Crossing the chamber, I become well aware of my bare feet and the cold, smooth rock beneath them. I shiver, my robe not accounting for much in the way of warmth. Halting a moment, I consider going back to grab some socks. That thought gets interrupted by another urgent squawking from the adjacent room, making me return to my task.

Bursting through the doors, I come into our living room. There are two, three person couches facing a screen mounted on the opposite wall and huddled around a coffee table. Where there once were precepts hanging on the walls, there are now pictures from our pilgrimage and other, more recent, events. A map also hangs on the right wall, clearly marking the path of our next journey. On the back wall, near the CommScreen, is another door that leads to the chambers beyond where priests once ate and slept.

_Squawk. Squawk. _

That insistent sound and that flashing red light threatens to give me a headache, so I move to silence it. Pressing the 'answer' button on the panel below the screen, an image begins to form on the static riddled screen. Immediately I recognize the person before me, though she is not bouncing and smiling like her normal self.

"Lu? You there?" Rikku asks, a slight inclination of worry in her voice. She shoves a lock of blond hair from her eyes and adjusts the orange-red headband that holds her wild hair in place. Nervously, she toys with a beaded braid; a subtly mimicry of my old style.

"Yes." I breath out, settling myself onto one of the couches to save my feet from the icy floor. "What is it?" I question a bit more grumpily than intended. It is early and I'd much rather be seeing to Tidus than sitting here, even if the person I'm talking to is practically family.

The Al Behd woman flinches, "Cunno, It's earlier there. Huh?"

So, she isn't in Bikanel, then. Somewhere further northwest most likely. I should have guessed, considering her signal is coming from the Celsius. Wherever she is, its got to be late afternoon. Rikku is not enough of a morning person to be calling anytime before ten.

You see, Rikku runs the Machine Faction with her husband, Gippal. She wonders Spira fixing up and improving machina. They do this mostly for the Al Behd, but they sell things to the Youth League and Besaid as well. The southern half of Spira now benefits from their advancements in machinery, while the northern half is very much the same as ever, if not only slightly improved. Besides being known as a former guardian, Rikku is now a world renowned alchemist and weapons forger. She certainly hasn't been idle these past six years.

Finally, I nod. "It's fine. What has you so flustered?" I ask, causing the blond to flinch again and shake her head.

"Tidus with you?" She questions, her eyes searching the space behind me.

"Yeah. What's up, Rikku?" The blitz player says, entering the room half dressed and looking a little better than before.

A wave of relief hit's the female alchemist, showing clearly in her expression and relaxing posture. "Thank Spira." She sighs, slouching a little before looking back to Tidus intently. "You doin' alright?" the blond prods, noticing his pale skin and still worrying over something yet unknown to me.

"I'm good." He assures, looking at me rather than at the CommScreen. Our eyes meet and he nods, letting me know his mind is safely in the present.

Turning from my guardian, I look back to my friend on the screen. "Rikku, what is wrong?" This time I'm demanding it. I have not the patience for interruptions or distractions any longer. I need to know what is upsetting her.

"Uh..hu..hu…" She laughs out nervously, rubbing that back of her head and looking away from me. "Well, you see…that is…" Suddenly, Gippal appeares on the screen, shoving Rikku to the side. "We got an urgent message from that Ronso Elder guy and headed straight for this icy hell of a mountain." The one eyed man states, brushing snow off his shoulder.

"His name is Kihmari!" Rikku interjects, moving her husband over so that she is present on the screen as well. Her glare does little to perturb the tall man and he seems to ignore the negative attention .

"Anyways," He begins again, finishing dusting himself off. "the blue guy found this sphere and showed it to us."

"Kihmari, his name is Kihmari!" Rikku reminds, stamping her foot petulantly.

"Riiight…" Gippal says looking at his wife and rolling his eyes. "Well, blitz boy was on it. Or someone who looked like blitz boy was on it. He was locked in some sorta prison and screaming nonsense about saving a summoner."

'Ugh!" Rikku groans, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "His name is Tidus, not 'blitz boy'!" She informed the blond man next to her, placing air quotes around the chosen nickname. "Can't you ever get anyone's name right!?"

'Nope, Cid's girl."

Oh, that did it. This time Rikku slaps him upside the head.

"You…you…idiot!" The alchemist yells, shoving him off screen and ripping the blue goggles off her head and throwing them at Gippal. "Men!" She complains, turning back to us and smiling. "So, this guy was talking about saving a summoner. You know anything about it, Tidus? Could it be you in Bevelle?" She questions, leaning closer to the screen in anticipation.

Tidus shakes his head, "No."

"Huh…" Rikku huffs, scratching her chin. "Well, I guess we will just have ta come show it to ya. We''ll be there in a jiff, kay?"

"Very well." My replay is a little dead sounding as I feel Tidus grab my hand and squeeze. I don't have to look at him to know his face is scrunched up in concentration and his eyes are on the stone floor. This is bothering him, making him uneasy in some way.

The image of Rikku disappears into static a moment later, leaving us alone in the room. I remain silent, giving Tidus a moment to think on what our friend has just told us. I don't know if it is anything we should worry about, but this sphere could very well mean something to Tidus.

"I don't like it." He says finally as he stands and begins pacing the room. "I don't remember being recorded when we were imprisoned. Bevelle didn't even have cameras at the time." He lapses into silence, but continues his repetitive journey across the chamber.

I watch him as he wonders about, letting him release some nervous energy. I've learned to let him move around a bit before trying to talk to him when he is agitated like this. His mind works better after he has burned off a little steam and he is far more cooperative.

'Maybe you just didn't see them." I offer up after a few minutes.

Halting mid-stride, Tidus turns to me with a thoughtful look on his face. He shakes his head a second later, "No, because Auron would have been in it as well."

I sigh and stand, "There is no use in worrying over this now." I tell him, crossing over to where he stands. "We don't know enough to come to any conclusion. Rikku will be here later tonight, we can discuss it then. This may very well be nothing."

Reluctantly he nods, deferring to my judgment. "Yeah, I guess." I can tell he is still running through all the possibilities in his head, but there is nothing I can do to quiet his thoughts. I grasp for something to say, at a sudden loss for a way to comfort him further.

My search comes up fruitless, and it ends up being Tidus, not me, that speaks. "We should probably go warn Rin and Nahdahla about the impending Hurricane YRG." Dry laughter follows his comment and he scratches the back of his head. Without further ceremony, he leaves the room to get dressed and deliver the news.

* * *

_***CommeScreen**_: An updated version of the Commsphere. There is now a network spanning most of Spira, excluding the places still under Yevon's control.

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry this took so long. Hope you enjoy! It took me a while to find a good idea for this chapter. I hope the lightened mood Rikku and Gippal brought is a good change in pace. And who is the Y part of Hurricane YRG? I bet you can guess it easily enough, huh? Anyways, read and review!**


	4. Wait and Worry

**Author's Note**: Hello everyone! I know this chapter is way overdue, but I hope the length of it makes up for it. Enjoy!

* * *

The day passes slowly. Achingly so. I can feel Tidus' nervous anticipation building as the hours pass. After he had told Rin and Nahdala about the impending visit from the Princess of the Al Behd and her notorious husband, there was little to distract him from the meaning behind the sphere. He ate the breakfast I made for us in complete silence, a permanent crease in his brow as his mind worked at the unknown thing coming from all available angles. A few times he almost voiced an idea he had, but stopped himself short and shook his head. Even if I hadn't been so distracted by my worry for Tidus' wellbeing, I am certain he was fretting over the situation enough for the both of us.

After breakfast we arm ourselves and head out to patrol the Djose Highroad. We clear out a small pack of Garms stalking the path and one Basilisk that had ventured out of wherever it had been hiding from the storm. At the end of our patrol, we are both certain the road will be safe for our guests to travel after they land their ship near the beach. Unfortunately, the _Celsius_ – or any other airship for that matter – cannot fly directly up to the temple of Djose. The magical rocks that surround the temple interfere fatally with the engines and instruments that keep the ships aloft.

The patrol did not release any of the tension within Tidus as I hoped, but only seems to have distracted him for a time. Once we return to the temple he is back to brooding. He remains ominously silent most of the day as we go about our usual routines; me practicing with Ixion and magic in the courtyard, and him alternating between sword practice, shooting and Blitz drills.

It is only when we are done with our exercises that he finally speaks. And this is only to ask me if I will cut his hair. It would be a lie for me to say the request does not cause a shooting pain in my heart. My eyes linger on the ponytail of blond hair for a long moment before I finally agree to do as my guardian asks.

We go to our bathroom, Tidus pulling a chair into the large space from our adjoining bedroom. He divests himself of all but his boxers and sits down in front of me on the chair. My gaze drifts over his muscular back which is riddled with scars of varying sizes. Most of the scars are from fighting fiends, but there are also two from gunshot wounds and one large one from where he had been struck by a piece of shrapnel in the Yevon Wars. I run my hand over the largest scar with one hand and then reach for the scissors on the counter. I cut Tidus' hair just above the leather thong that holds it in the same fashion as Auron had once worn his hair. The large lock of hair drops to the floor with a silly sense of finality.

Tidus sighs and I continue to trim his hair back into its long abandoned style. Once I am finished he stands and we both turn to gaze at the effect in the mirror. Aside from the scar on his face, Tidus looks much the same as he did the day he arrived in Spira. I smile at his reflection in the mirror, and he smirks at me with a flicker of the old light back in his eyes. There is something mischievous in the light of his eyes and I know what is in his head before he even makes a move.

With a quick grace that is all his own, Tidus moves the chair out from between us and catches me in his arms. There is urgency in the way he holds me at first, and then he seems to reign in his desperation. His blue eyes drift over my face, seriously considering me in a way he has never done before. There is a sense of wonder in his expression; as if he can't quite believe I am really with him. Then he rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes, inhaling shakily. I close my own eyes and a moment later I feel his lips tentatively brush mine. His reluctance fades quickly enough, and then he is tugging at my clothes while backing me towards the shower.

We have each other free of clothing and under the hot spray of the shower in no time at all. I can feel Tidus' need for me in every line of his body, and my own need for him builds quickly in response. Even though we have been with each other so many times over the last four years, this is like a first for both of us. We had never really been seeing each other before; just the echoes of the loves we have lost. It is a shock that hits us both in the same moment, just as we are about to lose all control.

Our lips part and it is only then that I realized Tidus has me pressed between his body and the shower wall. He has my left leg raised to his hip. His other hand poised on the small of my back, holding me in place. I can feel him shaking with the effort not to push forward and keeping going until he finds the release he so desperately wants. He needs a distraction from what is plaguing his mind and I am perfectly willing to provide it. Something holds him back, though and it isn't until I captured his gaze with my own and hold it for a long moment that the uncertainty leaves him. He moves, slowly and gently at first, as if he thinks I might break or push him away. When I do neither of these things after a few moments, that desperation and urgency that had infected him at the start comes back with such force that I think it shocks even him a little.

We finished together and as the aftershocks fad, Tidus eases my leg back down from his hip. He has the presence of mind to keep a good hold on me, because I would have fallen without his support. I can feel where there will be bruises on my back from the tiled wall, and I am sure there will be finger shaped bruises on my thigh because Tidus had been gripping me so tightly. My guardian will not be without his own damage; my long nails have gouged bleeding half-moons into his back. Oh well, a few more scars and bruises are nothing either of us is going to worry over.

* * *

Now here we were, in the company of the statues of the High Summoners, waiting for our guests to arrive. Night has fully fallen and the tendrils of Ixion's lightening racing through the temple rocks casts its strange glow within the room. Thankfully, Tidus is not pacing the room in anticipation, but instead is just leaning against the statue of Lady Yocun. This leaves me to study my book on White Magic in peace as I sit on the floor and lean against his legs.

It isn't long before I can hear voices approaching the temple, and I know they are loud enough to rouse Rin and Nahdala from their house. Standing, I set the magic volume on the statue's pedestal and walk towards the center of the room, my guardian trailing silently behind me. Moments later the temple's peaceful silence is broken with a storm of laughter and happy chatter. The loudest of all the new arrivals is also the smallest of them, and she comes rushing at Tidus and me with a shriek of excitement. The little blonde Al Behd girl jumps into Tidus' arms and hugs him fiercely, causing him to laugh.

Just as the little girl is about to launch herself into my arms, her mother's voice cuts through the laughter. "Yunie!" Rikku chides, shaking her head and stomping towards us. "Now is that how you greet Lulu?" A look of embarrassment flashes across the little girl's face as she glances between her mother and me. Tidus sets her down and the little girl smiles up at me shyly. "Cunno, Summoner Lulu." She says quietly and gives me a small bow with her head. Her pronunciation of 'summoner' is a bit garbled by her accent and her young age; it is quite obvious she is more accustomed to speaking Al Behd.

I kneel down to look the little girl in the eyes and smile at her. "No need to apologize, Yuna. It is good to see you." I pull her into a hug and then lift her into my arms, shaking my head. "Rikku, you are becoming a very strict mother." I say teasingly, looking at my Al Behd Guardian and handing her the three year old.

Gippal walks up then and ruffles his daughter's hair until it is a complete mess. Rikku smacks him for this and sets to fixing the damage while huffing her displeasure. "Regular mother hen that one." The male Al Behd says, indicating to his wife with a thumb. Tidus laughs at the remark and I just shake my head and direct my attention to our other guests.

As ever, Rikku and Gippal have brought their small entourage with them, which consists of two Ronso boys, one Al Behd boy, and a swordswoman of few words. The two Ronso boys are somewhere in the area of seventeen years old and are both with Rikku in order to learn about machina and bring their own people up to speed with the changes happening all over Spira. They are talkative and inquisitive, as well as great fighters who wield machina modified spears. They are Kihmari's pride and joy; orphans from when Seymore massacred many of the Ronso.

The Al Behd boy's name is Shinra, and it seems somewhat of an insult to even think of him as a child. He may only be fourteen, but he is possibly the smartest person in Spira. Many of the advancements in technology the southern half of Spira enjoys comes from Shinra's imagination, Gippal's mechanical know-how, and of course Rikku's uncanny ability to improvise when all else fails.

The swordswoman's name is Paine. She sometimes reminds me of Auron with her quiet, brooding manner and dry humor. Her fighting style resembles Tidus' original one more than it does Auron's, though. Paine is the pilot of Rikku and Gippal's airship; the Celsius and as such must deal with the difficult task of attempting to keep the married couple out of trouble. Or at the very least, rescue them from whatever trouble they find themselves in.

"Lian, Ayde."I say in greeting to the two Ronso teens, stepping away from the crowd of blonds that are currently filling my usually quiet temple with laughter and teasing words. "You have grown quite a bit since last I saw you." The teens are now a good five inches taller than Kihmari, and most likely have a few more inches left to grow.

"Thank you, Lady Lulu." Lian says while bowing his head in respect. "It is an honor to see you again, Lady Lulu." Ayde chimes in, bowing as well. Both of the teens speak with more clarity than the other members of their race, mostly because they have spent much of their youth speaking with Humes in either Al Behd or Spiran.

Turning from the two Ronso youths, I direct my gaze to Paine. Our red eyes meet and we nod a silent hello. Paine is not one for overstated hellos or goodbyes and in that we are similar. So, I look to Shinra and give the teen a small smile. As always, the boy is in prefect order. His blonde hair is slicked back with only his bangs hanging free. Just above his hairline sits a pair of goggles and his clothing is of a regular Al Behd style, though cleaner than they have any right to be considering how he spends much of his time. "Shinra, how are you?" I ask, and the boy blinks at me for a long moment as if he did not realize I had approached him until just now. He was probably so wrapped up in thinking about his next project that he had lost awareness of his surroundings.

"Well, lady summoner." Shinra responds distractedly before reaching into a pocket and holding out a sphere to me. "This is what we came to show you." He says flatly; always cutting straight to the point. I take the sphere from him and gaze at it for a long moment before looking over to where Tidus is chatting happily with Rikku and Gippal. "Tidus…" I call while holding up the sphere so he can see it. He immediately stops talking and stares at the item with an expression of worry. Then he walks over to me and reaches out a hand to take the sphere, but at the last moment he jerks his hand back as if the thing is cursed. "Do you want to watch it now? Or do you want to wait until after dinner?" I ask him, gauging his expression carefully.

"Later…" Tidus responds with a tone that suggests he would rather see the contents now. His blue eyes stay locked on the sphere for a long moment before he shakes his head. "We have some catching up to do before we get down to business." He says, trying to inflect his voice with cheer and only partially failing.

* * *

An hour later, after Rikku, Nadalah and I have cooked; all of us are sitting around a table that could easily fit three times our numbers. We all settle on one end though, with Tidus and me sitting at the head of the table. All the children sit to our left, while the other adults have taken the seats on the right. With Tidus and I having made very little contact with the rest of Spira over the last four years, we most often get our information from our visitors. We have the Sphere Network News to keep us up to date on politics, and the Spherecom to talk with our friends scattered throughout the world, but it isn't enough to keep us as informed as we often would like.

"So there have been no signs of Him yet?" I cut into the conversation Rikku and Tidus were having about the peaceful state Spira is still floating in. There is no need for me to elaborate on who 'Him' is; everyone already knows of whom I speak.

"Nope." Rikku says, shaking her head assuredly and sighing. "No Sinspawn and no sightings in the Calm Lands or at sea. Looks like He might be buying us more time than we thought: seven years and nothing." Rikku's face scrunches up a bit, as if she fears that the longer we wait for His return, the worse things might be when He gets back.

"This calm has been one of the longest," I respond quietly, glancing over to a picture of our old Pilgrimage party mounted on the wall. It's the one from the Thunder Plaines; before everything began to unravel. "longer than Lord Braska's by almost a year. It should be anytime now; we must be prepared." I say with a feeling of foreboding settling over me. I feel a hand touch my shoulder and look over to see Tidus smiling tightly at me. "We are ready." He tells me with certainty and nods curtly. I smile at him and shake my dark mood as much as I can.

"No worries, ya' know?" Gippal chimes in gesturing widely. "With all the advances we have made most of Spira will be safer and better prepared for any attacks. Plus, with all the new and improved weapons Cid's Girl has made for you guys Sin won't stand a chance." The Al Behd male says with an air of confidence while placing an affectionate kiss on his wife's cheek.

"So!" Rikku says loudly while raising a hand into the air and smiling. "Did you hear? Shalinda just had the new baby boy. They named him Vindina." The Al Behd woman beamed while pulling out a picture captured off the Spherecom and handing it down the table to Tidus and me. The baby boy is chubby with a shock of firey red hair on his head. "This makes four now. How in the world is Wakka keeping up with them all?" Tidus questions with awe in his voice before handing the picture back.

Gippal laughs out and looks to his daughter who is now running around the table, chasing one of the monkeys that hang around the temple. "You learn all sorts of secrets to keeping them entertained. Plus, a little coffee goes a long way."

* * *

A while later, once Yuna has been laid down in one of the old priest's bedrooms we now use for our guests, we all gather in the living room to watch the sphere. Tidus and me sit in the center of the couch facing the screen and he entwines both his hands with one of mine. Rikku and Gippal join us on the same couch, while the others scatter out around the room. Shinra stands by the Spherecom, loading the sphere and preparing to play it. Before he hits the button to begin the video, he hesitates and looks over to Tidus. "I studied the sphere a little on the way here." He confesses, "It is over a thousand years old and does seem to have been recorded underneath Bevelle." With that, the teen hits the play button and backs away from the screen.

Static fills the screen and nothing can be made out at first, then all of a sudden the picture becomes clearer. There is a prison cell, much the same as the ones we had been held in after Yuna and Seymour's false wedding, and a man standing inside it. He grips the bars and once his features become clear enough, I suck in a breath. If I did not know better I would say the man was Tidus, but he does not bear the scar on his face and he is obviously too old to be Tidus from when we were held captive in Bevelle over seven years ago.

'_No, I'm not sorry! I haven't done anything wrong!_'

Even his voice sounds so much like Tidus' does now. I know Tidus is thinking the same thing, because his hands tighten around mine. I can feel my bones grinding together beneath his grip, but I make no complaint or move to stop him. As confusing as this is for me, it must be much worse for him.

'_I know your listening. If she was your girl, what would you do!?_'

The anger in this man's voice, the emotion he is showing, it is as if he is an almost perfect mimicry of Tidus. In fact, I could believe this man was my guardian if it weren't for the subtle differences in looks, and the fact that this person acts more like the Tidus I knew before the wars that changed him so much.

'_How can you blame me for trying to use your weapon? It was the only way I could save the summoner! What would you do if you were me?_'

I can't help but wince at those words. This man's reasoning; his motives, they are even the same as Tidus'. Its sounds as if this man would do anything to rescue this summoner that he so obviously loves, much the same as Tidus would. It seems as if their similarities are not just skin deep.

'_Let me out! I want to see her…_'

The man's voice is full of rage, and then it suddenly breaks as emotion overcomes him. His knees begin to buckle and it sounds as if he might cry. It is a heartbreaking thing to watch, and a scene that is all too familiar to me. It is also too familiar to Tidus, because his grip tightens even more and this time I place my other hand over his to let him know he is hurting me.

The screen fills with static again and then goes black. Something in me is grateful that it is over, but I hate that now having seen the contents of the sphere, we are left with even more questions than before. And even though the sphere has stopped playing I can feel the tension in Tidus continue to build. Turning my gaze to him, I find my guardian's expression is dark and filled with emotions he has long tried to keep bottled up. His jaw is tight, his shoulders and back straight, and his grip on my hand is still like a vice.

"Play it again." Tidus says quietly, his voice calm in contrast to his body language which shows he is nowhere near calm. Everyone remains quiet and nobody makes a move to see to Tidus' request. It seems as if everyone is just as fearful as I am that if Tidus sees the sphere again he might do something impulsive and irrational. "Play it again!" He says, louder this time and with a commanding edge to his tone. Tidus glares dangerously at Shinra for a moment, and the boy rushes to do as he is told.


End file.
